A man is at a very fancy, quiet dinner party. He’s trying to be on his best behavior, but suddenly he feels a terrible urge to fart. He quickly tries to think of a way to do it discreetly.
He looks around the table. Everyone is deep in conversation. He decides to stand up, pretending to reach for something on the bookshelf behind him. As he stretches, he lets out a tiny, almost imperceptible fart.
Feeling relieved, he sits back down, thinking he got away with it. But then, the woman sitting next to him turns to him with a disapproving look.
“Excuse me,” she says, her voice a low whisper, “but did you just…?”
The man’s face turns red. He quickly interrupts her, “Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize I was standing on your cat!”
The woman blinks, confused. “My cat? I don’t have a cat, sir.”
The man smiles awkwardly. “Oh, right! My mistake! Then… I must have stepped on your dog!”
The woman shakes her head. “I don’t have a dog either.”
The man’s smile falters. He tries one last time. “Then… then it must have been your foot! I’m truly sorry!”
The woman sighs. “Sir, I’m talking about the smell.”
The man grins triumphantly. “Ah! The smell! Well, you see, I just had the most delicious asparagus for dinner. It’s quite potent, isn’t it?”
The woman rolls her eyes. “Sir, I’m talking about the fact that you just farted.”
The man’s eyes widen. “Me? Farted? Impossible! I was just… stretching!”
The woman leans in. “Sir, it was so quiet, I thought it was a secret.”
The man, now completely flustered, whispers, “It was! But now everyone knows!”