An old pirate, with a peg leg and an eye patch, decided it was time to retire from the high seas. He walked into a career counseling office, much to the surprise of the young, eager counselor.
“Good day, matey!” the pirate boomed, thumping his peg leg on the floor. “I be lookin’ for a new line o’ work. Somethin’ on land, ye see.”
The counselor, slightly intimidated, cleared his throat. “Certainly, sir. What kind of experience do you have?”
“Experience?” the pirate scoffed. “Why, I’ve sailed the seven seas! Plundered countless ships! Dug up buried treasure! I’m a man o’ action, I am!”
“I see,” the counselor said, trying to make sense of it. “So, you’re looking for something… adventurous? Perhaps a security guard? Or maybe a treasure hunter?”
“Nah, too much excitement for me now,” the pirate grumbled. “I’m lookin’ for somethin’ quiet. Somethin’ where I can just… sit.”
The counselor was puzzled. “Sit? With all that experience, you want to just sit?”
“Aye,” the pirate nodded. “And maybe tell a few tales. And get paid for it.”
The counselor thought for a moment, then his eyes lit up. “I’ve got it! How about a librarian? You could sit, read, tell stories to children…”
The pirate shook his head. “Too many books. Too quiet.”
“Then what exactly are you looking for, sir?” the counselor finally asked, exasperated.
The pirate leaned forward, a glint in his one good eye. “I want to be a professional napper.“
The counselor stared blankly. “A professional napper? Sir, that’s not a real job.”
The pirate grinned, revealing a gold tooth. “It is if ye got enough buried treasure to fund it!“