A lonely old farmer decides to get a pet for some company. He goes to the local animal shelter.
“I’m looking for a companion,” he tells the shelter worker. “Someone to talk to. But I don’t have much money.”
The shelter worker thinks for a moment. “I have just the animal for you. A centipede.”
The farmer is confused. “A centipede? How is a centipede good company?”
“This one is special,” the worker says. “He can talk. He’ll be a great friend.”
The farmer is skeptical but decides to give it a try. He takes the centipede home in a small box. That evening, he sits down for dinner and decides to invite his new friend out.
“Hey, centipede,” the farmer says to the box. “Do you want to go to the pub with me for a drink?”
There’s no answer from the box.
The farmer waits a minute, then asks again, a little louder, “Hey! I’m going to the pub. Do you want to come?”
Still, silence.
The farmer, now annoyed, gets up and yells at the box, “I’m leaving now! Are you coming or not?!”
A tiny, angry voice comes from inside the box, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”